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Psych Evaluation

Form 892-B • Department of Mental Anomalies

Classified
Patient ID:UNKNOWN-001
Date:11/23/2025
Primary Diagnosis:Advanced-Stage Existential Dread with a Dash of 'I Swear I'm Fine' Syndrome
Subject

Exhibit A: Subject

Visualization

Exhibit B: Mental Projection

Clinical Observations

Patient presents with chronic 'mirror selfie' addiction, indicating a deep-seated need for external validation masked by ironic detachment.

Severity Assessment

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Current Status:SEVERE

Identified Symptoms

  • Compulsive urge to document 'aesthetic' struggles, often in dimly lit rooms with dramatic pink lighting.
  • A vacuous, yet oddly confident, smirk that screams 'I'm secretly judging you, but also begging for your approval.'
  • Evidence of spiritual bypassing via decorative Sanskrit text, suggesting a superficial attempt at inner peace while actively avoiding actual self-reflection.
  • The subtle, yet undeniable, glint in the eye of someone who believes their therapist is their best friend and primary source of content.
  • A carefully curated 'I just woke up like this' vibe, despite clear indications of at least three attempts to get the hair just right.

Behavioral Anomalies

Believes their mental breakdown is a unique art form.Uses mental health memes as a substitute for genuine emotional processing.Considers 'vulnerability' a synonym for 'oversharing on social media for likes.'

Prescription

A 3-day digital detox, followed by mandatory group therapy with actual spiritual gurus (not just wall decor), and a lifetime supply of 'touch grass' reminders.

Therapy Protocol

Intensive Shadow Work, ideally conducted in a room without mirrors or flattering lighting, followed by CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) to address the delusion that their life is a perpetually edgy photoshoot.

Authorized By: Dr. [REDACTED]Confidentiality Level: MAX