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Psych Evaluation

Form 892-B • Department of Mental Anomalies

Classified
Patient ID:UNKNOWN-001
Date:11/23/2025
Primary Diagnosis:Advanced-Stage 'Holding it Together' Disorder with Undiagnosed Existential Dread Flair
Subject

Exhibit A: Subject

Visualization

Exhibit B: Mental Projection

Clinical Observations

Patient presents with chronic 'smizing through the pain' syndrome, likely self-medicating with cosmic aesthetics and an unhealthy dose of optimism.

Severity Assessment

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Current Status:SEVERE

Identified Symptoms

  • Compulsive 'bright siding' of obviously dire situations, often accompanied by a strained smile.
  • Eyes that betray the internal monologue of 'Is this all there is?' despite external pleasantries.
  • A peculiar attachment to celestial patterns, suggesting a subconscious yearning for escape from Earthly woes.
  • Apparent 'too-muchness' in social interactions, possibly overcompensating for deep-seated insecurities.
  • Frequent, almost performative, displays of resilience that are psychologically exhausting to witness.

Behavioral Anomalies

Believes 'good vibes only' is a sustainable life philosophy, despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary.Uses astrology as a coping mechanism for poor life choices.Has a carefully curated 'chaotic good' aesthetic to mask internal chaos.

Prescription

A one-way ticket to a silent retreat, a mandatory digital detox, and perhaps a vigorous session of screaming into a pillow. Also, consider replacing coffee with herbal tea for a month, just to see what happens.

Therapy Protocol

Gallows humor improv classes, followed by a mandatory session with a 'tough love' life coach. Maybe a spiritual guru who specializes in disillusionment.

Authorized By: Dr. [REDACTED]Confidentiality Level: MAX